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military humor
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jokes and things that puts a smile on our face
Location: glendale arizona
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Latest Activity: Dec 13
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Comment by Ray Johnson on November 11, 2009 at 4:36am
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We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(
Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) an ass hole
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
OK you have just been e-mooned!
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A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got
married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'.
In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields,
they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they
made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.
The problem was their nooner: it took Homer a half hour to
travel home and another half hour to return to the fields
and he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally
Homer asked the town doctor what to do.
"Homer," said the doctor, "just take your
rifle out to the field with you and when you're in the
mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be
Darlene's signal to come out to you. Then you won't
lose any field time."
They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while
until
one day, when Homer came back to the doctor's office.
"What's wrong?" asked the Doc.
"Didn't my idea work?"
"Oh, it worked real good," said Homer.
"Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like
you said and Darlene'd come runnin'. We'd find a
secluded place, make love, and then she'd go back home
agin."
"Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked
the Doc.
"Ah mighta trained her too good. I ain't seen her
since huntin' season started."
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Read a book once about the dangers of drinking...scared me to death !
I don't read books anymore !
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The big bad wolf said "I will huff and puff and blow your house down "
The 3 little pigs said " Fuck off or we will sneeze on you "
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Special prayers to all our men and women overseas may they all come home to their families safe. Special prayers for the family member of our military Lord give them the strength to deal with the unknown and comfort their hearts, let them know your with us.
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